Tuesday, 15 April 2008

New Hope for Lawn Sufferers

(Kentucky) Agricultural psychologists at the Institute for Greener Pastures announced today a cure for mowing.

Their spokesperson Dr Eliza Ferty identified the problem; "Grass has been growing for centuries  and we are fighting a constant battle to keep our lawns tidy".

Numerous solutions that have been tried to date, including chemical sprays and mechanical cutting contraptions, address the problem only after it gets out of hand.

The beauty of the new system is that it is specifically designed to prevent the problem before it occurs. Like many of the best inventions, the solution is so simple we are left wondering why we didn't think of it sooner.

"We installed 60" flat panel monitors in our test garden showing peak time programming from a range of broadcast and cable channels. The grass got so fed up of all the advertising that it couldn't be bothered to grow".

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