Sunday, 6 April 2008

Hillary Leads Obama by 33%

(Washington) The latest Gallop poll shows Hillary taking a substantial lead over Obama in the campaign for the 2008 Democratic Party nomination.

Dick Chung, one of Gallop’s brightest Senior Operational Analysts explained “To save costs, we only interviewed three people. In this case, two of them preferred Hillary”.

When asked about the validity of the poll results he responded, “We realize that the media and general public take no notice of error margins when reading poll figures, so we figured what the heck, let’s save money. Who cares about the error?”

At their AGM, Bill Whaleburger, Chairman and CEO of Gallop Group Holdings Inc, said “What is important to you, our shareholders, is that our main polling figures grab headlines”. “Our new approach has cut our variable costs by 68%, increased our profits by 23% and our media coverage by 72%". (Note: standard investment disclosures apply).

After the applause died down he continued “As a board, we take our duty to our shareholders seriously.” concluding “Is it really our fault that the general public loves sensation and is ignorant of basic statistics?”

I caught up with him after his speech, where he confided “We tried polling just one or two people, but we know from experience that the public trusts our polling results better if the figures don’t end in a zero. I mean, if you heard 50% or 100%, you might think they were made up. But 33% sounds like a lot of clever math went into it.”

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