Alcohol Makes You Smarter

Contrary to popular belief, evidence is emerging that the consumption of alcohol increases the brain's capacity for intellectual processing.

As we drink, we become better able to communicate. When sober, our brain is saturated with Inhibitrons, a type of protein molecule that makes us feel insecure. Alcohol dissolves the Inhibitrons which are then absorbed into the bloodstream and disseminated throughout the body.

As a result, our thoughts and words become confident, we are funnier, sing better and are universally liked.

As Inhibitrons reach our extremities they cause the side effect of reduced coordination, but this is insignificant compared to how smart, bold, brave and beautiful we become.