Friday, 11 April 2008

More Time for Intel

(Santa Clara, CA) Semiconductor giant Intel is to commence its "All the Time in the World" road show tour this week with a spectacular launch.

In an effort to raise programmer awareness, Intel have taken the lead in the campaign for sloppier code. As consumers buy faster and faster computers, it has become necessary to write slower applications to encourage continual upgrading.

"There are still a few die hard 'old school' programmers that believe in optimizing their code" said Pentti Um, Managing Director of Intel Finland. "While most coders realize they no longer need to try so hard, we feel it's our duty to make sure everyone has the opportunity to achieve the same standard".

18,000 are expected to pack the Santa Clara Convention Center on Friday to hear keynote speaker Steve Barmier from Microsoft talk about the extensive effort that was put into Vista to ensure it ran like a dog. He is expected to list numerous examples of important features that nobody needs as well as extol the achievement of producing an operating system that's over 1000 times slower than 20 years ago.

The road show will last 12 weeks as it tours key development centers around the world. For those unable to attend, Intel has assured us they will provide an online resource with examples of nightmarishly slow programs including full source code for the celebrated "Random Sort" algorithm.

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