Thursday, 10 April 2008

The Babel Fish Effect

Researchers at the Monterrey Bay acquarium have discovered a new breed of goldfish that appears to have properties similar to those mythically attributed to the Babel Fish.

A 'Goldfishius Babilus' as it has been named, possesses a unique ability to translate voice signals from any language.

Early experiments in interpreting meow sounds from domestic cats have produced phrases such as "I'm hungry", "Where's my food", "Isn't it time you fed me" and "You're sitting in MY chair".

Following their early success, the team have been looking into the process of translating English into foreign languages.

Latest results on humans show great promise in overcoming the language barrier that prevents foreigners from understanding English properly.

Investigating the effect under lab conditions, they determined that the primary mechanism involved is the fish's ability to amplify the incoming sound by a factor of 2 to 4 times.

In a press conference earlier today, Dr. Simon Rutter, Professor of Fishy Science remarked "It seems that tourists had it right all along. Instead of learning a new language, all you have to do to be understood is speak English louder".

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