Voting from Abroad

(Washington DC) In an effort to counter the escalating costs associated with holding a national election, lawmakers in Washington approved a bill to outsource the process to China.

Senator Bob Biverbrook (TX), a senior member of the Electoral Finance Committee, described how they arrived at their decision. "We looked to industry to identify key measures that have been taken to improve efficiency and found an overwhelming trend towards relocating key processes in cheap labor countries."

After receiving competitive bids from Russia, China, India and Malaysia, it was determined that China was best placed to support the democratic empowerment of individual citizens.

Speaking on the O'Really Show, the Senator was quick to defend the decision; "Although it was a difficult choice, we believe the 'novelty factor' to be a key driver in bringing the Chinese to the voting booth".

Today's Democratic Primary will be the first election to employ the new process. Preliminary results show Barak Obama ahead of Hillary Clinton by 342,277,615 votes.  Mass media pundits say it's still too close to call.